|HOME||BOOKS||AUTHORS' CORNER||PHOTO GALLERY||IMAGES of SPACE||LINKS||STORE||ABOUT US|
|           ||First Performed November 18, 1993
Coolidge School Gymnasium
Cubmaster: Jeffrey Sotzen
Mad Scientist 1: Eric Papineau
Mad Scientist 2: Aaron Sotzen
Igor: Brian McFarlane
Effgor: Jason Caminsky
CUBMASTER: As you know, the Scouts of Den 9 are madly working on their Scientist Badge. Let's see if we can see what really goes on, at one of their den meetings.
MAD SCIENTIST #1: (Stirring giant boiling pot). Ha-ha-ha-ha -- (Laughs fiendishly).
And they said we could never do it. They called us mad. They called us fools....
MAD SCIENTIST #2: Well, we better see how this turns out, first. They may be right, you know.
MAD SCIENTIST #1: (Stirring). They laughed at Edison. They laughed at Bell. They laughed at the Wright Brothers —
MAD SCIENTIST #2: They also laughed at the Three Stooges.
MAD SCIENTIST #1: (Tastes mixture). Yucchh -- it's perfect. (Begins to rummage through Ingredients Box).
All right — next step: The brain of a human and the eye of a newt.
MAD SCIENTIST #2: Or was it the eye of a human and the brain of a newt? What is it we're trying to make again?
MAD SCIENTIST #1: A Cubmaster, you fool! Oh -- I guess you're right. It is the brain of a newt. (Both scientists rummage through Box).
MAD SCIENTIST #2: (Pulls out wad of goo). A sense of shame. I'm sure we don't need this. It would make it too hard for them to do their skits. (Throws wad back into box).
MAD SCIENTIST #1: Igor -- Igor!
IGOR: (Shuffles in from offstage). Yes, Doctor.
MAD SCIENTIST #1: Igor — we need the brain of a newt. Go and find one.
IGOR: Yeah, right. I should have known.
MAD SCIENTIST #2: Effgor — Effgor!
(Effgor shuffles in from offstage) EFFGOR: All right, Doctor Know-it-all. What is it this time?
MAD SCIENTIST #2: We need the eye of a human.
IGOR: Well, you're not getting my other one.
EFFGOR: (Looking in wrong direction). Don't look at me. You got both of mine last month.
MAD SCIENTIST #2: Oh, all right -- you big sissies. Go fetch us one, then.
(Lab assistants shuffle offstage)
IGOR: Boy, this job sure will be easier once K Mart expands its pharmacy department.
EFFGOR: Well, let's try Walgreen's this time.
(Lab assistants exit)
MAD SCIENTIST #1: (Stirring, as he laughs fiendishly). Here — you do this. My arms are getting tired.
MAD SCIENTIST #2: (Begins stirring). Ha-ha-ha-ha — (laughs fiendishly). Boy, this is contagious. I wonder how our moms manage to make cakes and cookies without turning into mad scientists.
MAD SCIENTIST #1: Must be the electric mixers.
(Lab assistants shuffle onstage)
IGOR: All right, here you are.
EFFGOR: And I hope you two get it right this time.
(Scientists add ingredients -- mixture poofs and boils)
MAD SCIENTIST #1: I think its done.
MAD SCIENTIST #2: Let's see what we wind up with this time.
(Scientists and lab assistants remove plastic turkey from pot)
(Everyone looks at Cubmaster)
IGOR: Oh, no — not another turkey!
MAD SCIENTIST #1: Wait — there's more. (Removes can of cranberry sauce, and box of stuffing).
MAD SCIENTIST #2: I guess making a cubmaster is harder than we thought.
IGOR: Either that, or some people use a lot of makeup at our Pack Meetings.
(Scientists and lab assistants gather equipment and food, and leave)
MAD SCIENTIST #1: Well, it's almost Thanksgiving. At least this won't be a total waste of time.
MAD SCIENTIST #2: I don't know. Is there some sort of Cooking Badge we can get?
EFFGOR: (To Igor). Boy — I guess you were right. Next time, we buy brand names, instead of generic.
– End –
|Five One-Act Skits for Cub Scouts|
|A Halloween Adventure|
|The Big Bear Hunt|
|Through Time With Den 9|
|The Revenge of the Video Games|
|A Cub Scout Thanksgiving|
Website ©2007 by Jeffrey Caminsky
Excepts ©2007 by Jeffrey Caminsky